Short-Circuit Love: When Connection Unplugs Us

By: Dr. Wil Rodriguez

“The first love of my life… must be me.”

— Dr. Wil

The Scene:

She stood in front of the mirror — again. This time with swollen eyes, mascara bleeding like confessions down her cheeks.

He had left — again.

Not violently. Not loudly. Just… vanished. Like love often does when it was never truly there.

In the silence, her mind repeated the same old prayer:

“Maybe if I had loved him more.”

“Maybe if I were easier to love.”

“Maybe if I lose a little more of myself next time… I’ll be enough.”

What she didn’t know — or perhaps kept forgetting — was that she was never meant to be rescued, completed, or rebuilt by someone else.

She was the house.

And he was the flickering power that kept unplugging her from herself.

The Circuit Problem:

We go from one relationship to another — hoping, aching, needing.

We plug ourselves into someone else, like a broken appliance searching for power, asking:

“Will you complete me?”

“Will you fix me?”

“Will you love me enough so I don’t have to love myself?”

But every time we disconnect from ourselves to connect with someone else, the lights flicker… and eventually go out.

It’s not love.

It’s a short circuit.

It burns. It shocks. It breaks.

The Price We Pay:

We lower our standards.

We tolerate disrespect.

We accept crumbs and call it a feast.

We mistake survival for love, and codependence for connection.

And worse — we teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.

When we abandon ourselves, we give others permission to do the same.

The Psychology:

Every time we seek a partner to heal what we haven’t faced alone, we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Why?

Because they are not us.

They don’t carry our wounds. They don’t speak our inner language.

They’re not meant to complete us — they’re meant to join us.

But how can someone join us when we haven’t even found our own seat at the table?

The Real Lesson:

The first love of my life must be me.

Not because I don’t want love.

But because I finally understand that love starts inside.

It is a daily dialogue. A practice. A promise.

When I hold space for my own wounds, I don’t demand others to do it for me.

When I learn to sit with my loneliness, I no longer fear abandonment.

When I fall in love with who I am, I no longer settle for someone who doesn’t.

That’s when it changes.

That’s when love arrives — not as rescue, but as resonance.

Not because we need it.

But because we no longer depend on it.

So Ask Yourself:

• Who am I unplugging from every time I chase “love”?

• What parts of me am I silencing just to be accepted?

• Am I really in a relationship — or in a negotiation for worth?

A Final Thought:

When I am enough for me, others stop being my solution.

And that, paradoxically, is when everyone wants to be close.

Because I no longer need — I choose.

Because I no longer beg — I attract.

Because I no longer collapse — I stand.

Can you feel it?

If something inside you stirred while reading this…

If your heart whispered, “This is me”…

If you’re tired of short-circuiting your own worth in the name of love…

Then maybe this isn’t just a post — maybe it’s your turning point.

Connect with me.

Connect with this transformational movement.

You don’t have to walk alone anymore.