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Death to the Side Chick

I know this is a very touchy subject, but the reality is a lot of women have been in this position before…… Unfortunately, I’m one of them; more than once. And no I’m not proud of it either, but this is also why I decided to talk about it so that other women, who truly value themselves, won’t make the same stupid mistakes I did.

Anytime a man is in a relationship, happy or not, he should never step out on his woman nor should the woman he pursued take the bait. If a man, or woman for that matter, is unhappy in their situation, and it can’t be salvaged, then they just need to part ways. It will save both parties heartache and confusion.

I have been a side chick twice. Both started off as platonic friendships and eventually feelings, emotions, and sexual chemistry got involved. They both lasted for a pretty long time; long enough for us to fall for each other but not enough to have our own real relationship. Of course as a woman, we have an emotional bond before anything else. Once feelings get tied in, everything else is expected to fall into place, but it never did.

I tried to let go of both situations but it was hard and damn near impossible because our friendship beforehand was unbreakable. I knew that if we stopped messing around that our friendship would be null and void. I was trying to hold on to the possibility of being with these men because they were genuine good guys but were unhappy at home. I fell hard for them both but that didn’t matter because here I am still single.

And you know what I’ve learned: it’s okay to be single and find what really makes YOU happy. I had self esteem issues because of previous relationships that made me feel like nobody would want me because I had kids. These 2 men accepted me as I was and never judged me. Despite them being involved with other women, they treated me like I’d never been treated before. But I had to break this vicious cycle and cut them loose. They were toxic for me because I knew what we were doing was wrong. They weren’t going to leave me alone, I had to leave them. No contact whatsoever.

I know I deserve better than what I allowed. I know that I’m worth more than being someone’s second choice. I know that there is a man tailor-made just for me and he will come when God feels I am ready to receive him. So until then, I’m focused on more important things: my kids and my passions in life. I have to be reborn in order to succeed in every aspect of the term. I hope this will help a lot of women who have been in my shoes or are currently walking in them. My advice to you all: Get out while you still can. It’s not worth the pain and suffering that comes along with it.

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