Internet abuse and pedophilia: "I found out that my husband has inappropriate photos of children"

Modern technologies, stressful modern environment, rush for work and uncertainty and worries about existence, pandemic lockdowns, fear of viruses and death, division .... All this together or maybe who knows what else, just, people are very alienated, to that measures that often family members do not actually know with whom they live and share a bed, common rooms, family responsibilities, etc. These are not individual cases, it is a mass phenomenon that everyone is silent about and tacitly perceives as a reality of today. People may not get to know their spouses better, or at least the changes they go through due to the fast pace of life.

The corona virus pandemic has caused a lot of harm to people, the economy, a well-known way of life (which at least seems familiar to us), but it has also revealed many problems that existed before, and were somehow pushed under the rug. What we didn’t know each other well enough, maybe during a pandemic and locking up, when we’re more focused on each other and have more time to look at the people we live with, we can find out what we had no idea about our family members (husbands, wives, children, etc.)

One piece of evidence that speaks in favour of this is (and this is just one example) that calls to the number of trusted emergency services to prevent online abuse in the UK increased by almost 50 per cent during a pandemic. It is only one country in question and one of the problems but certainly important, pedophilia. People locked up during the pandemic are forced to sit at home and thus increase their chances of being discovered in terms of their sick lusts, which they certainly had before the pandemic. Only, who knows how they hid it before and realized their sick intentions. Children are also more focused on online classes and the Internet in general, so such dangers lurk to a greater extent during a pandemic. In the end, the pandemic itself makes psychopaths even sicker.

Organization called "Stop it Now!" claims that more time spent together during locking measures can reveal pull-out signs in some households. People are urged to recognize the signs that their family members are looking at inappropriate pictures of children on the Internet.

Sarah - not her real name - from Wales shared her story in hopes that she would help others. The event is from five years ago, but with the new circumstances, there are many more such dangers.

Her husband, with whom she has been married for 25 years, was arrested almost five years ago for possessing inappropriate photos of children.

"I had no idea what he was doing until the police broke into our house early one morning, while I was upstairs getting ready for work," she says.

"He must have immediately understood the implications of that event, because he kept repeating to me, 'I'm not a pedophile.'"

Police took her husband in for questioning and took electronic devices from the house with them.

Later that day, Sara managed to talk to him in private at the police station, when he admitted to her that he had been watching pornography for the last 10 years, including illegal content for the last two years.

"I was completely shocked and taken aback," Sara added.

"When I found out what my husband had done, it automatically meant the end of our marriage."

"Many women choose to stay with their partners, but I knew our marriage could never be the same again."

Sara filed for divorce because she felt she could no longer trust him.

This put her in an awkward position as far as her teaching career was concerned, while at the same time she had to break the news to their teenage daughters who were studying at the university.

"It was scary when I had to tell my daughters, because I had to do it over the phone, since they were both studying," she said.

"I was afraid that if I didn't react quickly, they might find out through social media."

"The police arrived in a marked car and were at my husband's job to take his computer, so I didn't know what was known in the local community."

Both daughters managed to rebuild their relationship with their father, while Sara, who has remarried in the meantime, said that he is now "depressed" and leads a "rather poor life".

She says it is important that people know how to recognize signs.

Her husband had a long history of depression and lack of self-confidence, he had problems at work and was constantly worried that he would get fired.

Sarah was tormented by the feeling that something was not right and, a few weeks before his arrest, she called on his manager to express her concern.

She mistakenly thought that the time she spends late at night at the computer and the trouble sleeping she has because he read about his interests, such as sports.

"Now I wish I was less naive and trusting, and more suspicious," says Sara.

"Abused children are the real victims of these crimes."

She says it is terribly important for people to take action as soon as they suspect something and praised the support she has received from the charity Stop it Now! Certainly so, one should fundamentally prevent children from become monsters one day if the abuse is not prevented in time. It is the first British confidential and anonymous on-call service dedicated to the prevention of sexual abuse of children by supporting adults who are worried about their own sexual thoughts and behaviour. And such services are needed everywhere. Worldwide!

The director of the on-duty service, Donald Findlater, called on anyone who suspects that someone close to him is looking at pictures of people under 18 to call their number.

"I think that because of Covid and the fact that people work and live more closely than before, we had more calls to our duty number. "People are either more self-aware or their neighbour has noticed something," he says.

In Wales in 2020, 114 people called the emergency number because of their own or someone else's behaviour, while 2,750 people visited the self-help website.

Findlater added:

"Because of the pandemic, feelings of isolation, stress and general uncertainty, especially over the past year, have often led to people calling us escalating pornographic habits, and through them, illegal online behaviour."

"It can be very difficult to recognize these signs, but among them are increased secrecy on online devices, their use at unusual times - such as early in the morning, or feelings of guilt or discomfort during the next day."

The chief representative of the Committee of National Police Chiefs in charge of child protection, Chief of Police Simon Bailey, said:

"Anyone who has inappropriate thoughts about children or who believes that a family member has them should seek help from Stop It Now !, otherwise they can expect the police to knock on his door."

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