Black sheep: Why are they outsiders? Part 1

This is going to a multi part series. To start I would like to write about someone dear to me who experiences this feeling on almost a day to day basis.


Every family has a member that is unique or different in one way or another. One of my close friends is one of these unique individuals and their family treats them not very well. They rarely invite to family functions, birthday parties, or holiday events. This has been going on since I have known them. His grandma actually did care about them and wanted them to come down more often to see her. Their family doesn't think people can change their minds but this person wants to better themselves, they want to be there at family functions, they want to know that their family care. This person is a good human being and should be treated as such.


Sure the person has made some big mistakes in the past, however, that is the past. Who hasn't made mistakes? This person wants to learn to drive a car, they want the opportunity to get a job, they want a chance to live life. His family is withholding important information and is refusing to let him have it to make his life better. People do change weather you think they can or not this person is trying. I have seen this person breakdown in tears because of their family. It's really sad when you try and try but when your family won't help you succeed it makes it 10 times worse. My family has stepped in to help them out and to help them get food, take them where they need or want to go, and they even go to our family gatherings (birthday parties, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter etc.) they are like family.


On the rare occasions he does get invited to go somewhere with their family, they (the family) let his younger cousins downgrade, belittle, and not listen to what they are saying to them and, they get away with it! When the person tries to get onto them they are the ones who get in trouble by saying "they are just kids" Uh no they are old enough to know better! As parents they should know that! My daughter who is 2 knows better than that! I am just bringing this issue to light.


If you or someone you know is being treated like an outsider reach out to them, invite them to a family function, make them them feel like they are welcome. No one should be singled out because of their past, what they look like, or even because they don't have their parents. No one should be down sized just because your children don't know respect. No one should feel like they can't turn to family in time of crisis! Give people a chance they may surprise you. If you are assigned legal guardianship over someone actually be there for that person don't say "it's not my responsibility to make sure they have food, laundry soap, and other things they need" no it is your responsibility. If the person is putting in effort to get their license or get a job how dare you keep them from trying it you shouldn't be a guardian if that's the case. If they are your family you should be there for them despite the family history!

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